


living on

by livethekind



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-06
Updated: 2011-07-06
Packaged: 2017-10-21 02:24:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/219858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livethekind/pseuds/livethekind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TG: we lost<br/>TG: cant finish the game with a dead heir and witch<br/>TT: We don't know Jade is dead for sure.</p><p>Space bent to her will and created a place for her, the queen of the rubble left behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	living on

Jade built herself an island in the sand, rock and crumbled ruins amidst the destruction of the earth.

There had been no time left, and she knew this; it was one of the things that she’d seen, tumbling through the clouds on Prospit. She had put it off as something to be changed. The future could be rewritten after all, her story could be different. This was the way it worked, vision after vision -- anything could be different, as long as you remembered to change it. But waking up to a dark sky and fire had hardly been expected.

 _( Leaning on the windowsill, watching the fire fall, never once believing that they had left her behind, they promised, they promised so much and yet it all seemed to be over as the heat rose and the grass disappeared and she curled into a ball and called for them over and over again )_

  
  


  
_( john rose dave dave dave theres fire and no earth and im scared why did you leave me?? i loved you and you left me, you left me behind and i only wanted to help you but now i wont ever get to see you again )_   


  
  


But she survived; Space bent to her will and created a place for her, the queen of the rubble left behind. Jade stood in a mountain of rock, the island gone and replaced with a wasteland. Bec was gone too, though she didn’t know where. He was a guardian that had no home, and Jade always assumed in the times to come that he had left for Spaces unknown, knowing he couldn’t save her. Knowing that she was alone, the unlikely remainder on a planet left to die. In the few days after the meteor she wandered, letting her feet take her places that previously she couldn’t dream of. Thankfully water and food were stored in the ruins, her own doing from only hours before. The deed of a different life, when there was no meteor and the world revolved around waiting for John and dreaming of places she’d never see. It didn’t snow here; the places in her dreams were just nonsense now, things she would never acquire. She thought about it as she wandered, feet traveling miles without a particular destination in mind. Jade could go anywhere, from Tokyo to the ruins of the pyramids, her feet set in the right direction. But it was too far, her feet too small and body too heavy to fly. Always, as the sun crept lower in the sky, Jade turned herself around, finding the way back to her ruins automatically. If there was anything else on the planet, she couldn’t find it -- the birds were gone, the fish missing and all the land creatures incinerated.

On day ten she ran out of water, shaking the canteen she’d found in the frog temple above her mouth, looking for the last drop. It had lasted her a long time -- longer than she’d imagined, or even hoped. Without water, she was lost. It didn’t take her long to start searching, her hands bloody from scraping the rocks of the temple for a clue, a secret to the existence she craved. When none presented themselves she retreated to the desert and tore at the rocks, searching for the ocean that had been there only weeks before. Jade remembered sitting in Grandpa’s study, laying on the rugs and reading about the human body: anatomy, the compounds that created it, what it needed to function, how each synapse in the brain relayed its messages and in a timely fashion ran your body. She’d devoured book after book, letting the time pass, napping in their pages. Now all her books were only shreds, pieces of paper she found scattered across the wasteland. She collected them as she tore at the land, too tired and dehydrated to cry, her knuckles red and knees bruised and hopes deteriorating.

 **We do not think we know a thing until presented with its primary conditions--  
There’s only one choice now: finish--**

  
**  
But there’s very little I can do.   
**   


She found a stream of water, her mouth pulling a smile into its corners. Jade laughed for the first time since the world had ended, letting herself drown in the noise and the joy of being found by something. At least the earth hadn’t deserted her; the land still grew for her when she sang, voice high and thin but resilient. Jade Harley refused to let the world defeat her. She would tear herself apart searching for the answers, searching for her friends if she had to. Her flowers would grow again, the world repopulated with trees and grass and _life_. And Jade would tear across the land, Wind in her hair and Light from the sun streaming above her; Time would be endless for the Witch who created her own world out of pumpkin seeds and song.

Taking the remnants of her guitar, she played the Earth a song of creation, energy pouring from the melodies. It took a month to create the green life, a month to shape everything to her perfection. But as sand overtook the outcroppings of other islands, her small garden attempted to flourish. She still walked her miles to the stream, hands now scarred over and distant attempts to survive almost forgotten. The water greeted her happily, the small tinkling of sound a delight to the ears of the girl who’d learned to rely on silence. Her voice was gone, hoarse from singing too many tunes and depleted from a lack of words to speak. Jade whispered to herself when she walked, mimicking her friends, keeping herself company. But that filtered out as the days passed, until loneliness became her friend more than any person she’d known in the past.

She wasn’t completely alone, at least. Dreams were her escape; the silence of the clouds offered visions of people she remembered. Dave, hugging Rose to his chest in the middle of a world filled with clockwork, his sunglasses in his hands -- and Jade wished that they were still around so that she could tell him she loved his eyes. John, flying through the air, the Wind moving at his command. Rose, eyes dark with revenge, tearing the battlefield planet apart for some unknown gain. Jade even dreamed of herself, surrounded by frogs, the remains of last winter’s snow collected at her feet.

 _( “Do you really think we need all these things?”_

 _His voice startles her, and she looks up, grinning as the boy in the sunglasses stands close, green and red frogs in hand. Dave, it’s Dave, and her mind is spinning with how he could be there, how she could possibly look to him -- hair ragged and dirty, clothes torn from adventure and a will to survive. Shoeless, she must look like a mess to the boy in the raglan shirt. But then she remembers it’s a dream and it hurts, it aches to know that it’s only a vision but the blood on his chest is real and how can she save him-- )_

She had woken up then, pulling out her lunchtop for the first time in ages, desperate to see them. There was nothing more she wanted in the world than her friends: John’s awkward enthusiasm, Rose’s willingness to listen and Dave, his songs and words and pictures and _oh_ what she wouldn’t do to have them all back. There’s no internet connection in the middle of a city of rock, and as the gears of her computer spin around her she sobs into her hands. They aren’t coming for her. Of course they wouldn’t -- they’ve probably forgotten about her, with her clouds and her silly reminders and things they couldn’t care less about. They would save themselves, live happy lives in her dreams. And Jade would give anything to bring them here, to see their text again and reassure herself.

 _( But he’s looking for her, the clouds tell her so -- he pesters her every day, hoping that she’ll sign on, leaving a trail of ‘im sorry’ messages and hearts and even sometimes raps, laments for the girl he thinks is dead. She wants to believe that he would do that, and she yells for him, her voice echoing across Prospit and into Skaia’s clouds. But he can’t hear her -- his land of lava is too far away, she thinks, and he’s busy, tearing up time to get back to her. )_

The next months are spent in a world of wishes, letting the blank pesterchum screen surround her as it looks for a signal it will never find. Jade doesn’t want the world, she doesn’t want her Space or the island or the green anything. All she wants is her friends, and they can’t find her.

She wanders farther from her green space now, looking for them on her own. If there’s anything that Jade hates, it’s sitting around and waiting for change to happen. She walks with a purpose, her mind focused on finding them. Surely, if she walks far enough, they’ll be there -- they are sitting in their homes and waiting for her, they never left this world behind because leaving her by herself wasn’t something they would do. Believing in them hurts less than the knowledge that they didn’t care enough to come back for her.

Assuming they could come back.

Jade tries to hold her faith, drawing their faces on the rock, carving their names into the earth with a firm hand. _John Rose Dave John Rose Dave_ their names are everywhere, and she sees them when she closes her eyes, filling up her dreams. Rose is exploring a land full of light, Dave is stealing from a monstrous behemoth -- and John, he’s sitting in his house, full of cookies and all alone. She’s not sure what they mean, but she’s determined to find these places. And as she forgets which direction her house is in and can’t go back, Jade curls up in the sand and wonders if they’ve forgotten about her. Forgotten about their quirky friend on the island, _oh, whatever happened to that one girl?_ In her dreams they fight for her, but in reality she’s never seen them, and wonders where they’ve gone.

Four months to the day and she’s hollow inside, still lost in a world of desert with no end in sight. Jade knows that she’s walked miles from her home, but she’s too tired to care. Her lunchtop was left on the green, surrounded by grass and sitting in dappled sunlight. And her voice, small though it was, has deteriorated into nothing as she runs her hands over the world she created, trying to find the secret of escape.

 _This is my fault. I told them to play the game, this is my fault, I didn’t even know what it would do but I helped them escape and couldn’t save myself...._

In her dreams on Prospit, they’re ready to change things. She’s seen their pesterchum conversations as she watches for hours, even daring to fly into the clouds in order to better understand. They miss her -- she wishes, her mind’s closed them off and she’s ready to give up on them -- and want her back. Dave blames himself -- but why? Jade doesn’t understand -- and Rose wishes he wasn’t so stubborn, wishes he’d give her more time. But she’s scared too, like Jade. Scared that she’ll be left alone in a world without her friends. And as Jade wakes, she stands up and walks, letting the dreams deteriorate.

They’re not coming for her.

They have left her behind. The dreams are lies.

But in the back of her mind, she still believes. Jade catches John’s laughter on the wind as she walks, sees Rose’s soft smile in the sun’s rays. And Dave -- _her knight, the cool kid, he will save her_ \-- is in every passing hour, the fire at sunrise and the subtle burn at sunset and all the time in between. She stops walking and they surround her, reminding her that she’s their best friend, that they would never leave her.

 _( and it’s true, they never forgot her -- they prepare to break the world apart to save her and Dave won’t take no for an answer as he pulls out his turntables, pulls out the one thing that can save them all and readies himself for the inevitable, to become the doomed if only to save the little girl who acts like a wild thing, the plants growing at her feet and trees bending to greet her )_

She’s too tired to cry, but she watches the stars helplessly, standing in the middle of an ocean of sand. This isn’t her world any more. She’s not a queen, just a Witch, stranded in the middle of nowhere and waiting for shadows to whisk her away. Please save me, **please save me!!** her thoughts revolve around the phrase, a silent pleading to the gods, to her friends, to anyone willing to listen. She wants to be saved. A girl without her friends is lonely, tired and malnourished and worn through. She can’t do it on her own this time, and she knows it, though it hurts. Falling to her knees, she watches for a sign in the sky. For the first time, Jade clings to herself and waits for some unknown force to move her.

 _( and as the turntables spin backwards and unmake time-- )_

Her world vanishes, and she ceases to exist.

**Author's Note:**

> Quotes in the story come from Aristotle's 'Physics' and House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski.


End file.
